Slacking Gifts

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Parker?

"Whenever they low, I get high."

It's amazing how office technology has really revolutionized the way I goof off!

Why are you texting instead of working?

"What are we doing today?"

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

Facebookie - Odds on boss catching you wasting time

The Sedentary Dead.

"It took years of hard work to get my colleagues to expect nothing from me."

Intermediate Slouching.

Who...what...why...when...where...whatever...

'He likes to rest before he gets tired.'

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

Man in office watching TV instead of a computer monitor.

'I'm on a great career path that never leaves my apartment.'

"Wow! Nice job on that display, Baldo! Just don't tell the boss. He'll make you do more."

He had an accident at work-an idea struck him.

"I did a lot of thinking in study hall today."

'Out to Hunch.'

'You know sooner or later they'll notice you've replaced your monitor with a portable TV.'

'I don't feel like getting out of bed today - Just tell everybody to go with laissez-faire.'

"I act unreliable so people won't ask me to do anything."

While you were in

"Have you seen Joey?"

"What is the first item on the to do list?"

'How's your garden?' - 'It's getting too much for me so I'm paving it.'

'I don't care if you hit the office football pool - get back to work!'

'Mr. Bosley and I will be busy all afternoon investigating offshore opportunities.'

"Honestly, Baldo, sometimes you're languid to the point of lethargy. Wouldn't you say you're torpid."

'The weather was much to rotten to go to work.'