Sky-high Snacker Pillows

'Well, she did it to me again... Left overs!'

Little league world series of poker.

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Airplane Mode.

"The bagels are better in New York."

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

Breakfast surreal.

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

"The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on."

"We grind our own catnip."

'Snack Bar's Open.'

"They're boulettes de viande. They're meatballs. They're balls of meat."

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

Cookie Thief

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

"Revelatory, Michael - such airy meatballs."

'Your diet is so bad that your arteries are all blocked, but the angioplasty should open things up and get the maple syrup flowing again.'

The four major food groups.

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

'I think you're going to love it! Our award-winning chef microwaved them to perfection.'

Fresh hamsters on a stick.

'Get the kind with the little marshmallows.'

Foodie Bank

Supermarket Aisles.

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

'Not eucalyptus leaves again!'

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

'With this extreme turbulence, the meals really are in flight.'

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.