Skull Jester Gifts

Radiology: 'Numbskull of the month' award.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Crow and fox

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

Ski kicker.

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

Man Tries Use Telescope In Observatory As Cannon.

Monks play conkers with crucifix

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

Show Jumping Tantrums

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

"Remember, Jeremy, thou art immortal."

"The Real Reason For Global Warming."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

'With this offer you get high speed internet, satellite TV and a new message tapping log for just $99.95 a month.'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'Houston, you're not going to believe this...'

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

'If you haven't been taking your vitamins. What have you been doing with them?'

'Screw up and take out a canine and it's gonna be Subpoena City.'

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

'My husband never does anything in a hurry either: Not only is he a sloth, he's a lazy sloth...'

"Wow, I've never met an astronomer before."