Skin Canvas Gifts

Inkaholic

(Camel paintings)

Cat with Nine Still Lives

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

Art Plagiarism

Couple painting each other - one turns to the other and says, 'Hon, let's hire a model.'

Instant art

"It's called 'Sold'."

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

A Friend in Need.

'Stupido Digitale! Chucka me a sloppy brush, there's a gooda chap.'

How Art Works.

His new 'Absence of Anything' reminds me strangely of his earlier blank 'Nothing to Say' canvasses."

I'm color blind, please help.

The painting Painter

"Harold finds painting very therapeutic."

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

Holier Than Thou

Artist Painting Modern Art.

'Apparently he only uses fugitive colours.'

Painter Sheltering Under His Canvas.

Blank canvas on easel is sculptor's model.

"Too busy."

Dali Paints His Dreams

'I love an empty canvas...especially yours...'

'I didn't get a grant.'

"Shhh, Daddy's painting – snack time can wait."

"They're so realistic."

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

If you keep sitting on your paintings, you're going to become an impressionist!

'Unfortunately, he's very productive in paintings, not money.'

'Sorry, Steve, but we're trading you to France for two impressionists and a dadaist to be named later.'

'I've run out of space. Could you tattoo my body in flesh tones and start over?'

'As if the paper shortage isn't bad enough, now I hear there's an ink shortage.'