Sketch Artist Humorist Gifts

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

'What's the big thrill about Budgie Jumping!?'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Fly Artist

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

For $10 I'll show you how you're ugly.

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"Welcome aboard, Thompson. Brono here will lay out the itinerary."

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

Blockhead

'Your numbers are WAY off...I'd like to see them SLIGHTLY less off.'

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

"It's obviously an original."