Sketch Artist Humorist Pillows

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"The Eggsorcist"

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

"These meetings bring out my creative side. How's this for the boss?"

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What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

'What's the big thrill about Budgie Jumping!?'

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

The Quack Quack Diaries: The George Broderick Diaries

Fly Artist

'Yeah, he was a good boss, and we'll miss him. Somebody kick his briefcase down there, too.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

For $10 I'll show you how you're ugly.

Once Again, Another Donald Trump Twitter Classic

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

Looking for Impeachable Offenses in All The Wrong Places

"It's perfect! You're a government redactor, and I'm a broadcast network word bleeper."

Facelook

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

"Welcome aboard, Thompson. Brono here will lay out the itinerary."

'I, pink, therefore, I ham...'

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

Blockhead

"It's obviously an original."

Capitalism

'Your numbers are WAY off...I'd like to see them SLIGHTLY less off.'