Skeptic's Club Member Gifts

'Don't be a fool, Kevin! How do you know that he's a certified teaching pro?'

'How do I know you're legit?'

What is an expert?

"If telling the truth was easy everyone would be doing it."

Door-to-Door Agnostic

No atheists in Heaven.

'This is all just some political scare-tactic.'

'I guess Mrs. Wilson wasn't a hypochondriac after all.'

'...and I don't suppose there's anybody here who knew someone whose name began with Z who passed on recently?'

"My left elbow hurts...that means it's going to snow!"

Fear/Knowledge

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"It's such a lovely day!"

Skeptic Tank.

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

Another Bigfoot sighting...

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

Channelling on the Cheap

Follow Science or Your Weird Sky God

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

The new Physics

"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"And he had it peer-reviewed by his fellow pseudoscientists."

'I might give you the benefit of the doubt. But I doubt it.'

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."