Skeptic's Companion Gifts

....why should I trust you?

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Experts through the ages.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'These bitcoins things are backed by technology and the internet! What could possibly go wrong?'

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

'OK, now you've seen it...'

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

"Skip the ghost stories. Tell us your conspiracy theory again!"

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

"Now do you believe me?"

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

Descartes's Demon

'I am a bit suspicious...In my experience, there is no such thing as a 'Free Lunch'...'

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

'Most cases like yours, Mr. Johnson, clear up completely with a healthy dose of skepticism!'

'If evolution is real how come after millions of years we're still unable to open a can of dog food?'

Michel de Montaigne

"Thank you for not praying."

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

"Proving Jesus lived is harder than finding footprints in the water he walked on."

"We met on Agnostic Rendezvous."

"Stacy. Stacy. Honey... You're not a doctor."

'Don't believe everything you read.'

'A large Federal study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that large federal studies don't prove anything.'

'People are skeptical about everything I say!', 'Oh, come now!'

"IDEOMOTOREFFECT. See! I told you."