Skeptics' Club Member Gifts

Family Tree DNA Test

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"I wonder if management will believe my project?"

'Don't believe everything you read.'

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"Now do you believe me?"

"As usual, you're confusing your right to have an opinion with having your opinion respected."

"Thank you for not praying."

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

"Stacy. Stacy. Honey... You're not a doctor."

Things can only get worse...

"We met on Agnostic Rendezvous."

'A large Federal study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that large federal studies don't prove anything.'

'People are skeptical about everything I say!', 'Oh, come now!'

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

No atheists in Heaven.

'Does that include the fishing rod?'

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

Warning! All Manifestos May Contain Traces of Truth.

"Ned's a lot more fun to live with since he stopped believing ANYTHING he sees on the internet."

"It tells me if your bill is fake or not."

Proving Jesus lived is harder than finding footprints in the water he walked on.

'Don't be a fool, Kevin! How do you know that he's a certified teaching pro?'

'How do I know you're legit?'

What is an expert?

"Tell me about yourself. I work mainly by extrapolation."