Skeptics' Club Member Gifts

Family Tree DNA Test

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"I wonder if management will believe my project?"

'Don't believe everything you read.'

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

"As usual, you're confusing your right to have an opinion with having your opinion respected."

"Now do you believe me?"

"We met on Agnostic Rendezvous."

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

"Stacy. Stacy. Honey... You're not a doctor."

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

"Thank you for not praying."

Things can only get worse...

'A large Federal study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that large federal studies don't prove anything.'

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

'People are skeptical about everything I say!', 'Oh, come now!'

No atheists in Heaven.

'I see you reaching into your wallet for a twenty dollar bill.'

'Does that include the fishing rod?'

Warning! All Manifestos May Contain Traces of Truth.

"It tells me if your bill is fake or not."

Proving Jesus lived is harder than finding footprints in the water he walked on.

"Ned's a lot more fun to live with since he stopped believing ANYTHING he sees on the internet."

'Don't be a fool, Kevin! How do you know that he's a certified teaching pro?'

'How do I know you're legit?'

What is an expert?