Skeptic Society Gifts

'I was just checking your records, Kleinzweck, and you have a Ph.D.. in pseudoscience!'

Fear/Knowledge

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

Skeptic Tank.

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

Another Bigfoot sighting...

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

Channelling on the Cheap

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

The Mainstream

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

The new Physics

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

"And he had it peer-reviewed by his fellow pseudoscientists."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'I might give you the benefit of the doubt. But I doubt it.'