Skeletal Pun Lover Pillows

'The good news is that you're no longer running a fever.'

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

'Well, isn't this nice? Three generations all sitting down together.'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

Grim Reaper Snack Bar

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Apocalliptical

'Let me handle this. I'm an orthopedic specialist.'

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

"Every time you lick your teeth, you taste your skeleton."

Pizza Delivery Delays

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'

"Here we still are, eh? So much for the gloom-and-doom types who warned us against eating all the vegetation."

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

Persian

"Wise?! You believe you're wise!!"

"Oh no, it's the Grim Streaker."

Spring Cleaning

"There's no point trying to complain, everyone is on a 'customer care' course."

'Heretofore unnoticed resemblance between G. Washington and A. Lincoln'

Ted never got used to hitchhikers on November 2nd, the Day of the Dead.

'A pint of beer and a mop please, barman !'

"I'm sorry—the agency told me they'd cleared away last summer's people."

"Our meaty ancestors didn't stand a chance once bears tasted their sweet, sweet haunch."

'It's dead in here tonight.'

"You really like this place, don't you, Harry?"

Jake played with a dead man's hand

'Give me a beer, luv. . . Yeah, a mop.'

Skeleton Portrait Painting

"I'm back from the dead - I sure hope my old-timey views on race and gender are unchanged and still acceptable!"

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"