Situational Vegan Pillows

'I'm a situational vegan. If someone else is paying it's an eight ounce kobi steak for me.'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"You had me at alternative milk."

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

"In the near future climate change will cause huge disasters!. . . And if nature dares to disappoint me, I'll throw the packaging of my vegan burger into the bushes!"

"It's a wonderful story - starts with the murder of a butcher."

Greta Thunberg wins German TV prize...

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

Zebra to lion: 'Is this a good time to talk to you about the sanctity of life?'

"I'm trying to eat more vegetarians."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"Virgin?! My bad. . . I thought you asked for a vegan."

'You know, I just got a sudden yen for nuts and berries.'

"It's amazing what they can do with soy, but it's just not the same."

"Suddenly the idea of becoming a vegetarian sounds very romantic."

"All I'm saying, Dear, is that sometimes I get tired of vegetarian restaurants!"

'The flowers look good.'

"I'm worried that not everyone knows I'm a vegan!"

"Here you are - Two house martinis, humanely poured!"

What to serve to meet most dietary restrictions

"I'm only eating vegans now and honestly, I feel so much healthier."

'The Nihilist Deli'

"No! No! I said 'virgin', NOT 'vegan' !"

"That's pork - the meat of the pig. It makes an excellent substitute for tofu."

Hugo Boss is Planning a Vegan Suit!

'That's cute. You're a Virgo and I'm a vegetarian.'

'I'm actually a soy milky way.'

'Tell him to cut it out - we're not into leather!'

"My parents are extreme vegans. I'm not allowed to have a piggy bank."

"Harley's always been into plant based eating. He plants his base in a chair and eats!"

'I'm lactose intolerant, gluten intolerant, vegan and allergic to tomatoes...what have you got that's good?'

"Without social media how would everyone know that I was vegan?"

"The vegans are going to be unbearable after this!"

"Never marry a vegan. They're prone to tempeh tantrums."