Sisyphus Scholar Gifts

Sisyphus 2021

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

Coronavirus Sisyphys

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

Snowyphus

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

Sisyphus Sawyer

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

"For the last time Pharaoh, it's a plague, not global warming."

'Oh, another thing, there'll be no more of this standing upright business, ok?'

Moses comes down the mountain with the first silicon chip.

"I love college."

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

"...And when the Lord finished, she rested."

"He never lets you forget that he had a cameo in the Old Testament."

Paul before Felix.

"No, we can't have a lawyer look at them first!"