Sisyphus Scholar Gifts

Sisyphus 2021

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Fifteen

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Coronavirus Sisyphys

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

Snowyphus

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"Wow! That's some PowerPoint presentation."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

Sisyphus Sawyer

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

"I love college."

"A reading from the first letter of Paul to the Corinthians..."

Moses comes down the mountain with the first silicon chip.

'Oh, another thing, there'll be no more of this standing upright business, ok?'

"For the last time Pharaoh, it's a plague, not global warming."

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'

"Then the angel Gabriel said to Joseph in a dream.. 'Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son, and they shall call Him Emmanuel." "I thought His name was Jesus!?".

Paul before Felix.

"He never lets you forget that he had a cameo in the Old Testament."

"...And when the Lord finished, she rested."