Sister Embarking On Motherhood Gifts

"Keep pushing, I can see the head!"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

'I trust this is a non-smoking uterus!'

"I had no idea life could be so complicated."

Moms gone wild

"Wow! According to this if I dig straight down I'll find a delivery suite."

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

'No provision for day care, eh?'

'Amazing, isn't it? - And she's never taken a parenting class.'

"Good news. Your mother is pregnant, so, we won't be mortgaging your future."

"There's even an app for being a mother!"

"Now they tell me there's a departure tax."

'You reckon your Pram' will do 'nought to four miles per hour in ten seconds'...I wasn't born yesterday, you know!'

Mummies and babies having a natter over lunch.

The Ultrasound.

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

"It must be hereditary. My mom got pregnant too!!"

"You mean my little sister could be a BOY?"

'In the owners manual it's listed as Foetal muzak. I call it gurgling intestines!!'

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

"I love being on the mommy track."

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'