Single Parent Warriors Pillows

"It's my weekend with the kids."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

Baby pram as a tank

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

That's my daughter, Alayna

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

Buggy with Snowplow.

'Beware of teething baby.'

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

Pinata good bags.

"Sure, I'd get married again, but who wants a she-wolf with two adopted children?"

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

'Don't look now - it's a ghost from our Christmas party past.'

"Jackson Pollock's diaper"

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Fathers are Heroes

"Puffiness and dark circles under the eyes, sniffles, trouble sleeping, rashes...you don't have allergies...you have children."

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

"He keeps touching me!"