Single Parent Warriors Pillows

"It's my weekend with the kids."

Baby pram as a tank

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

Buggy with Snowplow.

'Beware of teething baby.'

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

"Jackson Pollock's diaper"

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

'Don't look now - it's a ghost from our Christmas party past.'

"Sure, I'd get married again, but who wants a she-wolf with two adopted children?"

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

Fathers are Heroes

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

"He keeps touching me!"