Single Parent Pillows

'It's difficult being both mother and father to them!'

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

'I never knew my fatherboard.'

'I know it's been hard to be both a father and mother to me, but now that I'm grown, Mom, how about being just a mother again.'

'Why can't we be a one parent family?'

Children.

No, I don't have a Dad: Mum says that the Vet came to see her one day and that I was born a few months later...'

Parents teacher conference.

New Improved Child Support Agency

'You never knew your father -- he chased a squirrel into a car wash.'

'Larry, it's time I told you about your father!'

'You think you've got it tough? Try getting a date when you're divorced with 375 kids!'

'Oh no! I forgot to consider his need for a father.'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

'You never knew your father -- he iced up over Kansas City.'

'You never knew your father -- a big green thing bit his head off.'

Convict returning home - "Mom, dad's home from his top secret mission overseas."

'Single scene? I'm divorced with 56 kids, who's gonna date me!'

Quality Time

Careful Dad, you're turning my teacher red.

'You never knew your father -- he chased a squirrel into a car wash.'

"Baldo! From now on, the stays off every other day! And on those days, I want you to read, you know, a book."

"Sergio, Baldo and Gracie were devastated after Rosa died. It's hard when children lose their mother."

"You're saying that an only child having an imaginary friend is perfectly normal, doctor?"

Paternal presence

"I have to take care of the brat alone. . .while daddy comes in once a year, brings a few gifts and is honored for it like a saint!"

A father and son in a car packed with thier possessions

'Well, draw your absent Daddy.'

"It's my weekend with the kids."

"Sure, I'd get married again, but who wants a she-wolf with two adopted children?"

"How are you doing with that advertising copywriter?"

"I'd love to go but it's my weekend to have the kids."

"Cooking" when the kids are away

'Looks like your father's maintenance cheque has arrived.'

'This reminds me of my Senior Prom... without flowers and three kids.'