Single Moms Gifts

'She just likes saying 'Uranus'.'

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

Hassled Mother.

"I noticed that since I've been working at home you've been paying me hazard pay. How did you know?"

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"I'm tired of this full-time job. I want a part-time job."

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

Mums coffee morning

'Don't look now - it's a ghost from our Christmas party past.'

"Sure, I'd get married again, but who wants a she-wolf with two adopted children?"

"If we synchronize our tantrums, they'll have to stop talking. You in?"

Fathers are Heroes

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

Children.

"At high noon I'm takin' her to the zoo. How's one-thirty?"

"I suppose every girl dreams of someday getting a big divorce settlement."

Woman at a desk with a "MOM" nameplate

Single parents.

"Rose wants to bring up the child on her own."

A father and son in a car packed with thier possessions

'Well, it all started with a group hug.'

'There's a pork roast in the oven and a casserole in the microwave....two minutes on high.'

Parents teacher conference.

'You never knew your father -- he chased a squirrel into a car wash.'

'And then after we were married for a couple of years your father ran away to join the circus.'

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

Two children arguing - 'My dad's more absent than your dad'

"Now that Ella's turning two, I'd like to transition to being a stay-at-work mom."

Exhausted mother holds up 'Off Duty' sign.