Single Living Gifts

'The date didn't go too well. I should have taken her to a place that had more challenging placemats.'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Life is for the birds.

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Dog Walking Services

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

"Would you like to sleep through the film or the variety show?"

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Yes, I'm alone."

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"Thanks, but I already have my 'support bubble' right here."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"So that's where you were last night."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

'Don't look now - it's a ghost from our Christmas party past.'

Having installed a hydraulically operated wall in their 25-year-old's bedroom...

"Donald, the dog wants to get back in."

"Sure, I'd get married again, but who wants a she-wolf with two adopted children?"

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

Living together, couple in love.

"The sellers had a lot of kids, so they got tired of running out of hot water. So they upgraded."

Thanksgiving 2020

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

'How animals mark their territory'

When did this date go down the toilet? I assumed when you went to the men's room that you dropped it there.