Single Friend Gifts

Single malt whisky bottle reading lonely hearts column.

"I won't need a bag. I'll eat it here."

I know he's a dog, but I think I can change him...

First Date: 'Using a ten year old photo on your dating profile is one thing, using a ten year old photo of a male model is quite another!'

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

Dream relationship

'Never trust a man with testicles.'

Being footloose and fancy-free wasn't much fun.

People told me virtual dating was safe!

'How are you on toilet seats?'

It's rainin' men. Cross woman with umbrella

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Traumatized by the event, Goldilocks was never able to have a relationship with a hairy man: 'EEK!': 'This is my last blind date!'

'I'm serious. If you crave more action, try age-appropriate dating. Sexy women 50 to 75 are an under-served demographic.'

"Okay sir.I've fed your personal profile into the computer,and your ideal partner should look something like..."

"So there I was, alone in the restaurant, when this girl asked if I was single. I said 'yes' then she took away my extra chair."

"I want you to meet Dave. You'll get a kick out of his money."

Unmanned Drones.

"I feel like I have all this anger inside but no one special to share it with."

"Where did you get those big brown eyes and that tiny mind

"That's it?"

"I'm surprised I'm still single - I always thought I'd be divorced by now."

"I want someone whose inner pain is totally hot."

"You look even better in person than you did on the dressing-room surveillance camera."

"Honey, I'm home."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"She might have stayed longer if you answered the door with your pants on."

"So, this is Becky. She's single and she's totally your type."

"Rick, here, is totally passive, and you always have to be in control, so I thought you might like each other."

"Fred and Sarah, Helen and Joe, Carol and Andy, this is Marcia and nobody."

Cupid's converge on a bachelor.

"You lack spontaniety."

Wheel of Dinner

Sexual Arena Football