Singalong Enthusiast Gifts

"A trillion bottles of beer on the wall, a trillion bottles of beer..."

"What do I know about opera? Well, the soloists don't like it when you join in at the top of your voice!"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

Do you have to play air guitar every time we sing?

Tenors

'Now, you can SWASH, and you can BUCKLE, but you can't SWASHBUCKLE.'

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

Pirate King

"Oh my God with the singing!"

A singer being criticised

"You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to meet you."

J.D.Salinger epitaph.

'Come, Darling! Let us give in to our most primal urges!'

"Oh, we'll hang Kaiser BIll to the sour-apple tree..."

'Yes, doctor, I sang to her constantly as a baby. Her first words were ‘Gimme Ipod'.'

'Uh-oh, here comes the mike again. Cut the barbershop quartet and go back to mournful whistling.'

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

'Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream. All together now!'

Old McDonald bed & breakfast...NO EIEIOing after 10PM.

"...to save us all from Satan's power..."

"Yeah, you can drawl the drawl, but can you mosey the mosey?"

'You like that? Okay, ONE MORE TIME! The wheels on the bus go round and round!...'

"What'll I eat, when you, are far away, and I am blue, what'll I eat?"

"They don't really say 'mooo'. It's more of a low, doleful, 'uuummmmggghhh'. Go ahead, try it."

'Gosh, Jane, you're even prettier than that cute little chimpanzee I was out with last week!'

I rented a car from Hertz the other day, and there was a camera in it. Really? Someone forgot their camera? No, I mean in the dashboard. There was a little camera pointed at me. I have no idea who or what was watching me. Maybe it was Hertz. Maybe it was the NSA. Maybe it was for American Idol auditions. To cover all my bases, I sang the Star-Spangled Banner the whole drive. I'm never renting from Hertz again.

"Dad, it's only a surveillance camera."

"Wine and women are off but can sing as much as you like!"

'For God's sake, Tom, just let her cry - I can't stand your singing any longer.'

"How long 'til I'm bob-bob-bobbing-along again, Doc?"

Syd Barrett.

'The swabbie's chantey was unwelcomed on the birdfarm.'