Simple Pleasures Fanatic Gifts

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"They're comfortable."

It was getting worse. Bob's power suit kept wanting more and more, whereas Bob just wanted out.

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"It's a simple model but it works for me!"

"Darlin', I finally figured out the true meaning of life. It's a well=worn chair, a nasty old pipe, cheap brandy and a moth-eaten dog with a sphincter problem."

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

Golf escape.

"We were out-gunned from the get-go. We're fidget spinners and they're Rubik's Cube."

"Before I die, I’d like to eat tofu."

Luxury Mini-Breaks For Parents

Managing Targets: "It mat be simple but it works for me."

'I'm afraid I have bad news for you. That sweet tooth has got to come out.'

"When I was young, all we needed was a water hose to have fun."

I fired my masseuse today. She rubbed me me up the wrong way.

"I see you decluttered."

"I'm keeping it really simple!"

The Cheese God

"Speaking only for myself, the unexamined life was a total gas!"

"If a bowl of ice cream isn't the answer, you're asking the wrong question."

"I recorded them so we wouldn't miss anything while we were away on vacation."

What do you like most about presents?

"...Oh muffy, I'm as happy as a pig in Zen"

'I love the simplicity of this place!'

"This advice column is the worst trash I've ever read! And I should know! I've been reading it every day for the past 20 years!"

"In Mexico and El Salvador, they call cake 'pastel.' Colombians and Argentines call it a 'torta.' Puerto Ricans and 'Domicans call it 'bizcocho.' And Cubans call it 'keik.'"

"I love putting on clothes fresh from the dryer."

"Miss, could I have some, ah, just bread?"

Satan Fast Food

'I really enjoyed that, but if anyone ask, don't you dare tell them we watched it.'

"NO TV...no stereo...no video games! This is awful!"

Hermit

"Just a plain black coffee? You trying to get me fired?"