Simple Pleasures Gifts

"Before I die, I’d like to eat tofu."

Luxury Mini-Breaks For Parents

A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou.

"They're comfortable."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

Pea

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

"Darlin', I finally figured out the true meaning of life. It's a well=worn chair, a nasty old pipe, cheap brandy and a moth-eaten dog with a sphincter problem."

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

"We were out-gunned from the get-go. We're fidget spinners and they're Rubik's Cube."

"When I was young, all we needed was a water hose to have fun."

The Cheese God

"Speaking only for myself, the unexamined life was a total gas!"

"If a bowl of ice cream isn't the answer, you're asking the wrong question."

"I recorded them so we wouldn't miss anything while we were away on vacation."

"...Oh muffy, I'm as happy as a pig in Zen"

What do you like most about presents?

"I used to live each dray to the fullest. Now I'm satisfied with every other Tuesday."

Dr. Raymond Hoffler Proctologist

"Miss, could I have some, ah, just bread?"

"I love putting on clothes fresh from the dryer."

Slowsave.

I can't help thinking we should be using opposable thumbs for more than thumb wrestling.

Other Walks of Shame

"What I really feel like having is ham and eggs."

"Just a plain black coffee? You trying to get me fired?"

Dog on desert island dreaming of fire hydrants

"We can't leave now - we'll miss the spin cycle!"

mrs wilkinson dont you have anything else to do than feed the birds

Bread and Butter

'Every time I stop to smell the roses, I find that some jerk's dog has been there first.'

I don't know why I love rainy days. I just do.

The Existential Ape.