Simple Pleasures Fan Gifts

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"They're comfortable."

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

Pea

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

"Darlin', I finally figured out the true meaning of life. It's a well=worn chair, a nasty old pipe, cheap brandy and a moth-eaten dog with a sphincter problem."

Biliard Enthusiast

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

"Sorry, boss, I do care if I ever get back — that was just the peanuts and Cracker Jack talking."

"We were out-gunned from the get-go. We're fidget spinners and they're Rubik's Cube."

"Before I die, I’d like to eat tofu."

Luxury Mini-Breaks For Parents

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"Expensive coffee is a cheap vacation."

"When I was young, all we needed was a water hose to have fun."

"Speaking only for myself, the unexamined life was a total gas!"

"If a bowl of ice cream isn't the answer, you're asking the wrong question."

What do you like most about presents?

"I recorded them so we wouldn't miss anything while we were away on vacation."

"...Oh muffy, I'm as happy as a pig in Zen"

"Miss, could I have some, ah, just bread?"

"I love putting on clothes fresh from the dryer."

"What I really feel like having is ham and eggs."

"Just a plain black coffee? You trying to get me fired?"

Dog on desert island dreaming of fire hydrants

'I worked hard, made my millions. There's nothin left to do except give it away - but I'm too cheap!'

"He can be pretty mean when he takes his wife out to dinner"

mrs wilkinson dont you have anything else to do than feed the birds

'I play a lot of sports.'

'So you can hear the sea, what's so amazing about that?...'

'Okay. No one's looking.'

High electricity prices

'Every time I stop to smell the roses, I find that some jerk's dog has been there first.'