Silverware Enthusiast Pillows

Place Settings for the Elderly

"How can I tell him we're only EPNS?"

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

"Jewelry store, visit our ATM."

He started with the q-tips, then moved on to the hard stuff.

Dung Beetle Pottery Class.

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

'I have no idea what earrings to wear with this.'

"You haven't left much room for sun tan lotion"

Antique silver

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

Drinking Hats

Mum's love of china had reached critical levels.

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

Mom, I gotta hang up. Jill's about to find the diamond I hid under the bacon she always refuses to eat!

Wine-tasting Tour.

'Well in your price range, all you can afford is the box...'

'I remember the day you were born. . .It was a Monday afternoon.'

"I think he had the idea he was looking at costume jewelry."

"He's just p****d off, because these days, I'm more popular than he is."

A spoon you can run away with, but a spork is the kind of practical utensil you marry.

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

"Out bending spoons at Pop's diner."

Cool bulls.

Antiques roadshow: 'Yes it's definitely Silver'

"I heard they make glass from sand but I have no idea where to begin."