Silver Aficionado Pillows

Antiques roadshow: 'Yes it's definitely Silver'

'Go ahead and laugh, but I lose my keys less frequently than you do.'

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

A Zircon Is Forever

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

'This is our golden anniversary. Let's invest in gold.'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

"I came here to get in shape, young man! What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"Jewelry store, visit our ATM."

"They were all out of rings, so I got you a watch."

Found pearls! No way I'm leaving. . . Amelia.

Investor alternates between hating and loving gold, depending on the stock market's performance.

Ali Baba- Cover Design for Proposed Edition of The Forty Thieves

The Blings - collectors of jewelry.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"I need something that says ‘You were right about Trump.’"

'To tell you the truth, you've ruined the gold market, Mr Midas!'

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

Eye-catching Diamond rings.

'As you can see, we've been recapitalized.'

"You haven't left much room for sun tan lotion"

"Guard this with your life. The value of gold has gone way up against the dollar."

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

"Don't spend big on an engagement ring Son: She'll love any cheap ring as long as it's shiny..."

"I was going to transmute it into gold, and then I read that the base metal market has made a remarkable recovery!"

Antique silver

'Nice bling.'

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

"Let's get to work, there's gold in them there hills."

Mom, I gotta hang up. Jill's about to find the diamond I hid under the bacon she always refuses to eat!