Silly Swimmer Gifts

The waterslides are fun, but the water seesaw, not so much.

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'He takes bathtime seriously.'

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

'How's the water, dear?'

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'My problem is if I have one, I can't quit!'

I don't care if you hate that word – I'm hangry.

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

Fisherman catches swimmer.

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

'Want to go for a dip?'

Fidel Castro as a lifeguard.

''Why, I feel as light as a feather,' thought Shirley, 'I don't think I'll go on that diet, after all!'

"I'm beached body ready."

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

'Ok, that's fine! You have dibs on the big one. I prefer the skinnier ones anyway. They struggle more vigorously which, I think, enhances the taste.'

I don't care if it's a better workout, I'm not wearing ankle weights.

'Synchronised swimming.'

'Just take your time, Sweetheart. Remember, it's not a race.'

Oh Bugger !

Myrtle learns a fatal lesson about swimming during a certain time of the month.

Move it, pal. You're in the lap lane.

Swimmers Ready to Dive.

If you're going to scream every time a kid yells cannonball, you're not coming with me anymore.

'Uh-oh! Looks like Jer has a wardrobe malfunction in the rear!'

'Thank you for coming in at such short notice.'

"Down the end and second on your left."

'Your Bill is crooked.'

I told you skinnydipping was a bad idea.

'All I really wanted was a swim!'