Silly Parent Pillows

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

Mother threatening to gag her baby.

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'Are we there yet?'

Baby Hairstyles.

'Oh dear. He's got my eyes.'

"Where's your nose?"

'That one's going to be a klutz.'

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

Children should be seen and not a herd.

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

"Yeah, he's very like his father isn't he?"

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'

"Jim was a model Dad".

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."

You and your alternative pregnancy.

'Sleep tight - don't let the bedbugs bite!'

'Man pushing pram with baby.'

"The fish isn't renewable, but I know the fisherman has 6 kids and counting."

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

"I'll explain later."

'Can you do the dishes, love. I'll do the school run.'

"Look what I found in the garage! My old music speakers!"

"When I said you could use other materials with the sand, I was thinking shells and driftwood."

'Congratulations! It's an omelette!'

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

'My husband wants to know if the sonogram can tell if the baby is a Red Sox or Yankees fan.'

Dad’s Homework Assignment