Silly Contest Fan Gifts

'Say when you want me to start!'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Rhea of the Year.'

'It's just possible that the best candidate is the one who wins the Spoon Race.'

It had taken a team of engineers at IBM over a decade and had cost more than 50 million dollars, but that nigh, when Eat-Bot 4000 finally broke the record for hot dogs in an hour, it was all worth it.

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

"See. I told you they have Roomba Rodeos when we're gone."

Woman on a Pedestal. . . Who Married the Mothers Boy.

Annual Lump Festival Competition:'I don't know if I can give an award, they're all so fantastic..'

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

Has A Hole In It Venn Diagram

"Lower and to the left...AHHHHH!"

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'

Tug the Toggle

'Uh oh. Cougar alert.'

'I've always been a great fan of yours. I wrote all your books!'

'Good Now stuff that round thing in the hoop,,,, That's basketball,'

'I'm minding it for a friend.'

'Fairy friday.'

'You're excited about winning a traveling toothbrush kit in a sweepstakes after spending $300 on postage and entering 1,500 contests?'

The Apprentice

Staff Toothpick of the Month.

Knobbly knees champion

'I must say, that's the most pathetic bar promotion I've ever seen.'

"Good news. We're the hundredth caller."

Angel Wins Publisher's Clearing House

Foot Fetish Bar: Tonight - Wet Sock Contest