Silicon Valley Satire Lovers Gifts

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

U of Debt

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"She wishes to range free!"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

'And she's got to have implants out to here.'

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

Police film evidence

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

Jack in the box on strike.

"It's somehow comforting to witness a revival of the classics in motivational technique."

The White House: Some Assembly Required.

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

Why Superman flies himself