Silicon Valley Satirist Gifts

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

Google to Employees: Don't Be Evil to Us

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

The cell phone soother for life.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Star Wars vs Star Trek

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"Now you can send it."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

German School

"What are you doing?"

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

The Evolution Of Man

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'