Silent Retreat Attendee Gifts

"We're not getting very far with our enquiries, Sarge!"

Club Antisocial

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

Scurile travels

James decided to stay in that night.

"I'm going on a retreat."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

Monk on the beach

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

"At last - no Trump."

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Priest

Self Storage Unit

"They're on a silent retreat."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with worrying that you forget something."

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

Spring Training

Busy thoughts of people at a silent retreat.

'Becoming enlightened fifteen minutes before I did doesn't EITHER give you seniority!'

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

Pray it Don't Spry it.

Go away

Missionary Statement: Spread the Word.

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

'Talk about quiet, I didn't even hear them move in last night.'

Ocean sounds $1.00

'It was a long trip, but the french fries are worth it.'

"This ashram looks good. Every night after dinner they have a stand-up guru."

"We can't blame the travel agent, you asked for somewhere quiet and away fro it all."

'I'm self isolating, you idiot!'