Silent Rebel Pillows

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

'They'll be talking about that for years!'

Librarian finds man smoking hidden on bookshelf.

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Trappist Monk Discord

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"I can do whatever I want. It's a free country. Well, at least for the time being."

"I really got used to working from home."

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

'I'll never understand parents. They name you Patrick O'Kelly O'Grady and then punish you for shenanigans.'

A neutral observer.

My dad's doing flowers for a huge sweet 16 party. Everyone's invited except me! Who cares? It's probably some loser who couldn't get anyone to come over without going over the top. Thanks, Em! You know what's important. Plus! We'll figure out whose party it is and crash it! You're my spiritual guide.

'Time-outs might have more meaning when I learn to tell time.'

I left my mark on policies and programs.

'I said you can't touch me - it's my religion.'

'Don't worry about a thing, my Mom doesn't believe in spanking.'

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

"He shows enormous potential."

Post Office Worker.

'Give me the most soft and gentle looking unicorn tattoo you've got!'

"But this is the way we've always done it."

"All the government wants to do is push our buttons!"

It's an epic fight!! Will Captain Couch Potato reach Lady Beer Bottle and MME. Remote Control in time???

'Whenever my parents threaten to discipline me, I say 'Okay, but that's the first thing I'm going to mention in my tell all book'. Works for me.'

"Of course you can't DVR the surf. You brought the wrong remote."

Freddie and dad playing in park. Dad wants to go home. Freddie says, Better not forget my bike, and better not forget myself!

Little Marjorie in Delusionland

"I'm home dear! So what have you been doing today?"

'I don't know what you're complaining about. I should charge you for breathing my second hand smoke. This happens to be a very expensive Cuban cigar!'

"How many times have I told you not to draw your graffiti on the walls?!"

"Do you think our brains ever get full?"

It turns out nobody has anything to say.

Very little fan fair.

Zoning in Force

"I want to be prepared for my teen years,so I want to practice being mouthy and moody now."