Silence Enthusiast Gifts

'If you can keep your trap shut, Furgis, you might be promoted to silent partner.'

"Silence is pretty extreme - can we just take a vow of whispering?"

Silence Strictly Enforced.

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Hi! Are you enjoying the peace and quiet?!"

'You've had the phone bill, haven't you?'

'My job's been a lot easier since I thought of using the mute.'

"Our open office floor plan runs much smoother that no one communicates."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Hush puppy.

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

Welcome to the Hothouse Writer's Colony.

'What luck!'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

Along with being the first passengers on the space elevator, Fenwick and Charles set a new world record for longest awkward elevator silence.

"The concept is simple. People call in with questions on existece and reality , and you respond with total silence."

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'

"Not now, Elaine—I'm on my man-cloud."

'It was designed for people who don't want any visitors.'

'No matter where you go, people somehow find you.'

Shut the F#%* up! (Formally Shhhh!)

'You have the right to remain silent.'

Free Little Library

"Please don't feel it necessary to make conversation."

"With the benefit of hindsight, do you feel it was wise to dedicate your first children's book to Hitler?"

'It's SUPPOSED to be quiet up here!'

"And he hits it, and the other guy hits it back, and the first guy hits it, and the second guy hits it back and-"

"I'm excited to leave this party we're going to."

'My god, this is it... I'm finally getting my fifteen minutes of privacy.'

'No, sir, we don't have a big noise. We have a chief librarian.'

Lone traveller is befriended by tourist from hell.