Awkward Silence Enthusiast Gifts

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

"You have the right to remain silent, but fair warning: I'm super uncomfortable with silence and will fill it with increasingly personal stories that I'll regret sharing later."

Hush puppy.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

"God help us, it's that guy."

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

"Cat got your tongue?"

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

Along with being the first passengers on the space elevator, Fenwick and Charles set a new world record for longest awkward elevator silence.

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

"Our open office floor plan runs much smoother that no one communicates."

"Let's not discuss it."

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

"Hi! Are you enjoying the peace and quiet?!"

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

Free Little Library

'You have the right to remain silent.'

"With the benefit of hindsight, do you feel it was wise to dedicate your first children's book to Hitler?"

Bob had a lot to prove – which happens when you're wrong most of the time.

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

Shut the F#%* up! (Formally Shhhh!)

"Please don't feel it necessary to make conversation."

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"I'm excited to leave this party we're going to."

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

Desperate to break the ice, Bob and Lilly attempt 360s.