Sigh Specialist T-Shirts

"Since you're always asking, here's a list of my various kinds of sighs, with explanation of what each one means."

"You sure sigh a lot for somebody that doesn't contribute to this house or know what a government is."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

Center For Sleep Deprivation

Doctor with Teddy - "Take this. It will help you sleep."

"I slept funny!"

"Gesundheit."

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

Impatient queue of people. The signs read queue here,sigh heavily from here, and Tut Loudly from here.

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

'Then I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

Menace.

'My hay fever is really acting up.'

'How can you sleep at night?'

'I think I'm having an out-of-body experience.'

Sleep Disorder Research.

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'

Narcolepsy in relationships.

'What did you say? You suggested me to COUNT sheep to fall asleep? I thought you told me to EAT sheep...'

'The teddy bear and blankie are the only sleep aids the doctor had that aren't addictive.'

'We're making progress on my insomnia. My foot went to sleep last night.'

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

'Sounds to me like you're not getting enough REM sleep.'

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

'I think you went trampling in your sleep again.'

"We've got just the thing for someone your age...all our mattresses are made with memory foam."

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.