Sigh Specialist Gifts

"Since you're always asking, here's a list of my various kinds of sighs, with explanation of what each one means."

"You sure sigh a lot for somebody that doesn't contribute to this house or know what a government is."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

Center For Sleep Deprivation

"Gesundheit."

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

"I slept funny!"

Impatient queue of people. The signs read queue here,sigh heavily from here, and Tut Loudly from here.

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

'Then I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

'These hibernation pills ought to do the trick.'

Menace.

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

'My hay fever is really acting up.'

'How can you sleep at night?'

Sleep Disorder Research.

'A cure for insomnia is a good night's sleep.'

'Sounds to me like you're not getting enough REM sleep.'

'The teddy bear and blankie are the only sleep aids the doctor had that aren't addictive.'

Insomniacs Anonymous - No Snoring

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

'I think you went trampling in your sleep again.'

"It's the sighs that count."

'We're making progress on my insomnia. My foot went to sleep last night.'

'What did you say? You suggested me to COUNT sheep to fall asleep? I thought you told me to EAT sheep...'

This thing on my neck is keeping me awake at night.

"I won't be in the office today, my apathy is acting up again."

Narcolepsy in relationships.