Lung Specialist Gifts

"I finally stopped smoking. It's great to have clean lungs!"

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

Desert Dermatologist

EAR, NOSE AND THROAT CLINIC: "You want me to drive?"

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."

'Let me guess, you're 'Sneezy'.'

"Your lung capacity is excellent!"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."

R. Gillespie, M.D., specialist in whatever disease is hot at the moment.

Guide dog with eyesight proplem.

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

On board the MS Hepatology

"I don't seem to be able to sniff out money like I used to."

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

Center For Sleep Deprivation

"He's a whiz kid."

'Dr. Wit specializes in treating patients with a fear of low places.'

Orthopaedist

An allergist sneezing

"No doctor, my husband is not sleep-walking again. He is sleep-jumping!"

'It's worse than I thought: the frog in your throat has a frog in its throat.'

Doctor with Teddy - "Take this. It will help you sleep."