Respiration Expert Gifts

'We breathe oxygen in the daytime, what do we breathe at night?' 'Nitrogen.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Kid blowing bubble takes off.

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

'Would you mind terribly taking up some other sport besides long-distance running?'

"Your lung capacity is excellent!"

'Don't come down until your thirty five.'

The Good Breathing Guide

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

"Thank you for coming. The talks were forthright and useful, and provided an excellent climate in which to resolve our remaining differences."

"Gesundheit."

Safety first - be aware of what is around you.

'I am prosecuting you for a breach of article 5 of the explosives act, storing black powder in a dangerous manor on unlicensed premises.'

"How was your day, dear?"

"Check it out, bro - this pneumatic tub pipes us from the frat to Wallstreet."

'Remember he's got a short fuse.' (Chairman of an explosives company).

'Wow, breathing! What a concept.'

'I wonder if they KNOW about each other?'

"I set up the sensors. He sees you when you're sleeping."

Overworked doctors in need of sleep

'I'm being tested for sleep apnoea this winter: Better go, see you in spring...'

'Puffer fish.'

'Hot enough for ya?'

"Could you come back in a couple of hours? My leader is out shopping."

COVID-19 vs Air Pollution

'For throwing spitballs in class, I am sending you to the principal's office. It's nothing personal. It's just a classroom management thing.'

'You say he needs 'ventilatory support' - are we talking boxers or Y-fronts?'

Bronchial Clinic

"Check the catalytic converter while you're in there, please."

"I finally stopped smoking. It's great to have clean lungs!"