Siesta Gifts

Siesta-time

Campaign for Plain English

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

Ironing Punctuation

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

Editor.

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'Do it write the first time.'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

Man ironing the censorship into a book.

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"