Siesta Pillows

Siesta-time

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Campaign for Plain English

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"Still suffering from writer's block?"

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

Ironing Punctuation

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

Editor.

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'Do it write the first time.'

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

"Don't worry about your hair, dear, I can fix it in post-production."

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

Ye Editor. It’s a little downbeat, Will. How about making it a comedy and changing the name from "Othello" to "The Moor, The Marry-er"?

'Once upon a time there was a really lousy editor name Sue. Sue was lazy and stupid, so she was fired, and her boss lived happily ever after. The end.'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

'You've been killing files again.'