Side-splitting Golfer Gifts

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

"You couldn't just stop and ask directions, could you?"

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

"How long is this hole!! 540 metres!! I'll need a car to drive that far!!"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Dog fetching golf ball

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

'If he's going to be another 'Tiger' he has to start young.'

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

Pest control.

"Hold on ! Hold on! When you said you'd played this game before at school...."

'Do you mind if I play through?'

"Dad, get your own sandbox!"

Using Science In Fashion Design

'In tray.'

"Somewhere we must have strayed off the course."

'Doctor, when you said you were going to put me on an exercise program, this is not what I had in mind.'

'It wouldn't be so bad to play golf in winter if the balls were just another color.'

Golfer going through customs

'It takes more than a stormy day to keep me off the green...'

'Every Sunday I thank God that I'm an atheist!'

The 19th hole

"This putt is worth $75,000 - certainly more than enough for a decent suit of clothes, a haircut and a set of real golf clubs!"

'I'm your best friend, so I'll be honest-- do yourself a favor and take up ping-pong.'

'Justin hacked another divot... Rub his nose in it or he'll never learn.'

Golf mole

'If I was a golf ball, I wouldn't do what you wanted me to do if you called me that either.'

'You're taller than I expected.' - 'I'm standing on my blisters.'