Side Dish Advocate T-Shirts

"Don't give me that. My lawyers assure me there's a loophole in your menu's no-substitution clause big enough to drive a truck through. Now, either I get my creamed spinach instead of those fried onion rings or we'll continue this discussion in court."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"This is our soft opening."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

'Diet considerations.'

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

Kurt's good. Look at his family. His dad and mom really know how the game is played! They're his personal coach and videographer. As I said

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

The famous Walled-off salad.

"Funny how we never seem to run out of vegetables."

'He left it to me. Isn't a double Salmanazar of '55 Chateau Cheval Blanc the perfect match with the side garden salad?'

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

How Kale Took Over the World

Clarence always halved lots of cargo.

The real reason salad aids weight loss

"Your blood sugar tested positive for fruits and vegetables."

"Good news, I found a doctor who says you can still play"

The Chef's dumplings were his speciality.

'I wonder who they'll bring on as manager for the second half.'

"Now, who ordered the salad?"

'We've decided to split the Caesar salad.'

"By the way, hon, great food, great wine, great you."

"What do I recommend Sir? Well, looking at your waistline, I'd recommend a salad!"

"I take serious offense to their offense. And I am feeling very defensive about our defense. Would somebody give me a damn hug? Now Please?"

Dugout sale!

"What's so great about eating local? It's all fast food."

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

"Really, Karl! Can't I mention the high price of kohlrabi without getting a manifesto."