Sick Day Humor Gifts

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

"Here's the deal, throw me back and I won't text your boss telling him you called in sick to fish."

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

'Another sick note from your employer !'

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"He's never had a day off work through illness. He always stretches it to a week!"

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

"You better take Teddy's temperature too....he was awfully sick this morning!"

'Have you heard of the Phrase,'Survival of the fittest'?' 'Uh-ho!'

"I don't think I'm going to be in today, I got a bit wrecked at the weekend."

'If you have a toothache, take the day off, you would be useless at work anyway...'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

"I've lost my voice. Is it contagious?"

"I forgot to call in dead."

Woman watches TV wrapped up in warm clothing.

I can't come in today. I haven't got chronic diarrhoea!

'I couldn't decide what to wear to work so I just didn't go.'

'I'm sorry, Mr. Harris is not here. In fact nobody's here. I think it's a staff infection!'

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

'No, you don't have fever. You have to go to school.'

Go home and take your cold with you.

"Walt won't be at work today - he's flipped on his back!"

'Take ten days off work.'

"It's your work. Are you still sick or what?"

'Mr. Breeding won't be in today - so you people at the office have fun.'

"It's not the flu. I got a very bad case of tired blood."

'If I work at home and I'm sick, do I have to go to the office?'

Cold Remedies

'The good news is that we're going to name the disease after you.'

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with some kind of bug.'

'Don't take this personally, Walter, but go home!'

"I wont be in, I'm in bed with a nasty bug."