Sibling Rivalry Humorist Pillows

'I am so proud: My kids are finally fighting all the time!'

Polygamists' Picnic

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

"Act your birth order!"

'A boy? Come on, Mom, you can do better than that!'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

'I suppose this puts my new bike on the back burner?'

'MOM! -- Samantha called me names in her diary!'

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's clothing-optional.'

'How do you expect them to treat you in a mature way with that thing in your mouth?'

'good taste is timeless, Al.'

'Mom says she has a souffle in the oven - Does that mean I'm going to have a baby brother?'

"If you have one child you are a parent but if you have two, you are a referee!"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Take it from someone with experience. . . you can't go throwing tantrums until you've at least tossed a few.'

'Mom! - Jeffrey just said a DADDY word!!'

'Stop crying or Mom will think we're not having fun!'

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."