Shy Guy Aficionado Gifts

Shy Man at Party

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

'The Rush Orders department is a shambles, Briggs, and I think you're just the man to turn it around,'

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

Along with being the first passengers on the space elevator, Fenwick and Charles set a new world record for longest awkward elevator silence.

Turtle Blind dates

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"Please to meet you, though I'm sorry about the circumstances."

"I'm here because I keep bumping into old friends. Like, literally bumping into them."

Speed Checked By Radar.

"With the benefit of hindsight, do you feel it was wise to dedicate your first children's book to Hitler?"

'Sorry, Bill's out of his office today, he should be back Monday.'

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

Shy author hiding while signing books.

'My problem is that I'm a nice guy.'

'If Larry didn't stay in touch with his imaginary childhood friends, he wouldn't have any clients at all.'

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

Tortoise Mailman.

"He's a little shy around people."

'I wonder why we geeks don't get more women?'

I may not be the smartest tortoise, but I've been around the block a few times. Well, once.

Meet Jim, you've a lot in common...he's an insufferable bore as well...

'I love my job, but the commute is killing me.'

"Ha ha. Stop by and say hello to your mother. Ha ha, that's a good one!"

"I never know what to do with my hands at a party"

"Well yes, we've been married for eighty years, but your grandma didn't want to rush things: We were engaged for thirty years before that..."

Randy, if you could be any superhero, which one would you be? I'd be Randy-Man. He came to earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. He's slower than a speeding bullet, because he takes his time in all things. He can change the course of a lady's evening with a single smile. I don't think The Avengers would have much use for Randy-Man.

"I was proud of you tonight. You were just hostile enough."

'When he shifts gears... it's always into park.'

'I used to be afraid of public speaking, but since I realised everyone falls asleep after 15 minutes...'

Remember, don't judge other snails until you've crept a few inches in their shells.

'You've heard of Tiger, Bear and Shark...... meet the snail!'