Shrink-ologist Pillows

"Don't worry they're all part of my team."

Fish talking about fisherman

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

Shrink

When psychiatry works too well!

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

Psychological Warfare Target Practice

"Behold the geometry of pizza: square, circle and triangle."

Christmas Group Therapy.

"If loving you isn't right, I don't want to be right!"

'I'm sorry, we can't give you a surgically inserted gastric band, as it appears you already have two!'

Am I in good shape, Doc? If you think "spherical" is a good shape. (Published originally on January 9, 2014.)

'My therapist says I've developed a cult of personality disorder.'

'Take comfort in the knowledge that better men than you have far worse inferiority complexes.'

"At this time of the summer, I hate time."

"I would advise you to reduce the size of your buisness."

A fridge surrounded by books.

'On the positive side, just think how small the mortgage payments will be.'

"OK, let's talk about your narcissistic tendencies."

New-Age junk diet.

"Read my weight NOW!...NOW!"

Shortfuse psychology...making anger work for you!

'That jerk who thinks he's always looked-down on is here.'

'Everyone thinks I'm boring.'

'...and what makes you think that people always take advantage of you?'

'Why that's ridiculous! You have lots of useless years left in you!'

'I told you it wasn't a good idea to go biking in long pans because they might get caught in the chain.'

On her doctor's order, Wanda watches how she eats.

'I'm sensing a lot of road rage.'

"I forgot to ask you - what's your sign?"

"I think you just found my funny bone."