Showtime Selector T-Shirts

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

"They grow up so fast."

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

"I don't get it either, but my mom keeps telling me to hang up the phone, so I do it to make her happy."

Comedy, Tragedy, Karaoke

Newborn sees his new father viewing him in hospital nursery thinks "Showtime.".

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

Social Networks

"Get ready."

'You can't vote him off, dear - he's the newsreader'

I'm not sharing top billing with you on my radio hour. I created it. I am the vision, the reason people tune in, but I'm not a tyrant. I agree you should get your name in the show's title. The Sadie Cohen Radio Hour graciously allows a pervert to make occasional comments. Speak, pervert. Bite me, Tyrant.

"He's so cute when he waves his little baton."

TV scheduler's garbage in and garbage out baskets..

'and for my 12,307 choice I'd have the live extended version of...'

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

"What you've been coughing up - is it more of a 'Misty Green' or an 'Heirloom Sage'?"

"Turn off the TV and go to bed - I'm your mother, and I approved this message."

"This next one is for all the people who did the right thing and stayed home."

"It's been a perfectly wonderful date...let's not spoil it by talking to each other."

"It's so warm out. I want you to go outside and play."

It's 10pm...do you know where your homework is?

The Greatest Show Unearthed.

'What's it to be? An overbearing chef, an overbearing interior designer, or an overbearing gardener?'

Hooked on technology

"MY mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

"Nobody understands my texts."

"Sorry, angel - showtime!"

Desert Island Downloads

'Check, please!'

Shows at 6 am and 6 pm daily.

'Okay, how about THAT shade of mud?'

Polar Bear on a Phone