Shower Gel Collector Gifts

'One case of body wash. Will there be anything else?'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Shampoo.

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

'Never mind how accurate they are -- How DISCREET are they?'

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

'You are charged with contempt of CNN....'

'Oh, for heaven sake, Emily. . . stop cheating and just go on a diet like everyone else!!!'

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'They say that these are also handy for carrying a sleeping bag, pad, tent, foul weather gear, extra clothes, trail mix...'

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

Wash and Go...to hell...

Late library book. Judge says, 'I don't think you're taking this seriously'.

Joan Collins

Towels embroidered with 'Me', and 'No... Me.'

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

Bowel movement in D minor.

Milk production

"Sorry, but my eco-program says no more hot water!"

'I think we need some more baking soda, dear.'

"Do you want me to leave the water in?"

Texas Chainsaw Mascara

"Mom, when will I be old enough to contain alcohol?"

'Wash 'n' Gauguin.'

What do you want in a lipstick Chocolate flavouring, cellulite burning enzymes and an alcohol content of 40

"There it is again: that red, itchy rash on my skin... Maybe I should try another brand of soap instead of 'Sunlight'?"

Lipstick hiccups

Miscommunication