Quirky Towel Collector Gifts

Towels embroidered with 'Me', and 'No... Me.'

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

Cat hunting in a cuckoo clock.

Middle Age: When rolling out of bed is easy, but getting up off the floor isn't!

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

"Sure, I may be over the top, but at least I'm not underhanded like him!"

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

"You have such beautiful eyes."

Signed Baseball - Scientists,

"You should have said you only wanted a trim. . . I'd have sent you to the barber next door."

Migrating Cuckoo Clock

"It was a mistake to let the children chose their own instruments for the new music class...I have eleven cymbals, and Billy Fitzgerald chose the bagpipes!"

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

Who Typexed out the grass?

They've come a long way since they started in his parents' garage.

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"Which free tote goes best?"

Steven Tyler's toothbrush.

For the new gardener.

"Wot? No toilet paper?"

Psychiatry. Here's your soda --- Would you like a crazy straw?

Valentines for Things

'Buy you new equipment? Are you kidding? Our budget is already so tight that we have a kazooist because we can't afford an organ.'

'Relax Mrs Flanagan, I've never known a high fibre exorcism to fail yet!'

"That's a nasty cavity. That is why it is so important to brush your hair."

'Do you have one that plays the theme from Godzilla?'

Happy birthday to you!

'Re-gifting has become socially acceptable, dear, but re-carding is going a little too far.'

'I almost forgot...Happy Birthday!'

Happy Xmas

'Hmm, that would be great for grandpa.'

"Oh, thank God!"

Cat with mouse tie.