Shorthand Typist Gifts

Office Supplies/Secretary

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Someone who knows apostrophes

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

'How many words per minute do you type?'

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

"I think we could work very well together."

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

'How many words a minute do you type?' - 'Big ones or little ones?'

'How could Homer write The Iliad and The Odyssey with a quill pen on parchment when I can't write a memo with a computer?'

"I think contests are good, but instead of a "find the typos" contest, you should get someone to read your text."

"Oh, it's not just the sign. Everything here is set in Comic Sans."

Nice moves—is that an air piano or are you doing the E-Mail?"

'Yes, we can get all this into your ad, but we'll have to set the copy in 0.00005 point type.'

'Your new book is full of mistakes: the critics will have a field day.'

'I can type 500 words per minute.'

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

Francis Picabia

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

'I typed it that way because I thought that punctuation would just slow it down.'

The origins of bullet points.

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

Ignore that guy - He thinks he deserves attention because he's italicized. I.

I've given up on my youthful dreams of having a big income, a big house and a big car. At this point, I've settled for having a BIG FONT.

Texting. Hardware. Software. Plans. Most of our business comes from word-of-thumb.

"Reviving the old all type, eh?"

My Mom texted me to let me know she hates all the fonts she saw this week.

"The jury's still out on whether you should whisk me away to Paris."